What do vegetarians feed their dogs?
Can someone give up lent for lent?
Why would Dodge make a car called Ram?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Why do they have 7 oceans when they are all connected?
Why is it when we duck they call us chicken?
Why is there a size 12-14, 14-16, 16-18, and so forth, but no 13, 15, and 17?
What did cured ham actually have?
If CDs were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?
If lava melts rock, wouldnt the lava melt the volcano?
If a man has no fingers, can he press charges?
Can a blind man see his future?
Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?

* Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
* Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
* Can you write in pencil on an eraser?
* How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
* Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?
* Can you blow a balloon up under water?
* Can crop circles be square?
* How do they get the air inside the bubble wrap?
* Why are there black lines on a basketball?
* If we had a president that was a woman, would her husband be the first man?
* Why do we have to wait till the water starts boiling before we can put
pasta into the water?
* If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money?
* Why are blue Christmas lights so popular? Aren't red and green the
traditional colors?
* Why do police officers wear tight clothes and dressy shoes? wouldn't that make them slower when chasing someone?
* If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
* Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
* Why do birds bob their heads when they walk?
* Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaurant they bring us a bill?
* How come wine and hard liquor doesn't come in cans, but beer does?
* When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?
* If people say if you eat dessert before dinner it will ruin your appetite wont eating dinner before dessert ruin your appetite for dessert?
* Why do they call him a Skipper when he just stands there?
* Why does "lake" come first (Lake Michigan) and "river" come second (Mississippi River)?
* If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
* If I raise the volume on my radio, does it use more electricity?
* What would happen if: Everyone was to flush their toilet at the same time?
* Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?
* If you died on the International Dateline, and half of you were on 1 side and the other half on the other side, what day would you die?
* If someone crashes his or her car on purpose, why is it still a car accident?
* If people with one arm go to get their nails done, do they pay half price?
* If the weather man says "it's a 50% chance of rain" does that mean he has no idea if its going to rain or not?

* Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
* Don't you have to get up to get to the tape?
* Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
* Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
* Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
* Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
* Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
* Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
* You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
* Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
* After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
* You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, * why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
* Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
* Have ex-bankers become disinterested?
* Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?
* Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?
* Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional?
* Have ex-punsters been expunged?

* Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
* Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
* Why are the cabs from the Yellow Cab Company painted orange?
* Why are there never any artist's materials in a drawing room?
* Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
* Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
* Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
* Why are we afraid of falling?
* Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?
* Why aren't there bulletproof pants?
* Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
* Why didn't Luke Skywalker tell Darth Vader to turn to the light side of the Force?
* Why do airlines call flights nonstop?
* Won't they all stop eventually?
* Why do bars advertise live bands?
* What does a dead band sound like?
* Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
* If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down?
* Why do guys wear underpants?
* Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?
* Why do they call it disposable douche?
* Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?
* Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
* Why do they report power outages on TV?
* Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?
* Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
* Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
* Why do we have hot water heaters?
* Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
* Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
* Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
* Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
* Why do you weep and sniffle over a TV program and the imaginary Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
* Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
* Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
* Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
* Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
* Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees?
* Why don't you ever see baby pigeons?
* Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
* Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?
* Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
* Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?
* Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
* Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?
* Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
* Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?
* Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?
* Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
* Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?
* Why is the alphabet in that order?